Beard Nakedness - Things I learnt from The World's Greatest Shave

 

As many of you would be aware, recently I participated in the Leukaemia Foundation’s World’s Greatest Shave Fundraiser, offering up my beard and hair for the charity. All cancer charities, not just specifically Leukaemia related ones are important to me. Cancer touches so many families, it’s almost unavoidable to not know someone who’e wrestled with the disease.
My first interaction with this horrible disease and the effect it can have, came when I was only in the 5^th Grade. My friend Evan at School was diagnosed with a cancerous brain tumour, and underwent all sorts of treatment, including chemotherapy. We, his classmates, watched as he summoned bravery beyond his years to confront the disease head on. We watched as he got frail. We watched as his energy rapidly declined. We watched as his hair fell out. We watched him try to hide his 5^th grade embarrasment under a South Sydney Rabbitohs cap. And then, one horrible day, Evan wasn’t there anymore. He died in 1995, the year he would have been graduating primary school. His mother took her lunch to his gravesite everyday, so she could have lunch with him. The thought of that breaks my heart. The natural order of things says that no mother should have to bury her children, especially before they even have a chance to live. That was the first time I saw cancer impact lives around me.

Once before, I decided to do my part to help the Leukaemia Foundation and attempt the World’s Greatest Shave. I shaved my head and part of my beard, but I left a Goatee and a Moustache… I simply couldn’t go the whole hog. Without getting too Freudian, I think on some level I hide behind my facial hair, and I didn’t want to let it completely go… Stupid, right? I think I raised $400 that year.

This time round, I took it more seriously. I set my fundraiser target at $750 and I committed to shave all my hair and all my beard. I joked with people that I’d had my beard longer than I’ve had my wife (which is true… we celebrated our 6 year anniversary recently, and I’ve had the beard for at least 8 or 9 years). But I still wasn’t quite on the maturity level I needed to be on. I still had fear and excuses running around my head, “What will my daughter think? Will she know it’s me, her Dad? What if Mel thinks it’s creepy and won’t come near me? What if people tease me and call me Uncle Fester? (Side Note: This one actually came true like 15 times post-shave)” I still spent a lot of time consoling myself with the fact that in just a few short weeks, I’d have a beard again… I was missing the point. You see the point of shaving your head is to represent people who lose their hair from cancer treatments, to look through their eyes for a while. I was still thinking “It’ll grow back and I won’t look weird anymore” but the thousands of people battling cancer don’t get off that easy. They lose their hair for a long time, and they go through hell physically along the way. The treatment seems to knock the life out of them and they become frail and energy-less. They just want to survive, and here is me worrying about looking funny and not having a beard to hide behind. I’m starting to get the point, but it was a slow process.

In the Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 25, Jesus outlines a simple message, which can be summarised in this way, “When you show love to the sick, you are showing love to Jesus.” I understand that my hair isn’t doing anybody any favours, but if by shaving off my beard and hair, and being outside my comfort zone for a few weeks, prompts people to donate their money to a charity that will help the sick, I’m there. It’s what Jesus asks of me, Love them and You’ll be loving Him.
The Leukaemia Foundation has a great many uses for the funds we raise. Some of it goes to aiding the families of Cancer sufferers as they go through the motions of treatment. Some provides services to the sufferers themselves.

I’m happy to say that I reached my target of $750… and then with all your help, I passed the target and kept going. Together we doubled it and then some, and I was able to raise over $1600. Thank you for your support in this! Here I sit now, 2 & ½ weeks later, and my beard is growing faster than my hair. It’s back on my face, I can hide once more. But this few weeks of “Beard Nakedness” has taught me a great deal, and I have no regrets. I only hope those who truly go without hair don’t suffer so much, and that everyone’s effort’s with the World’s Greatest Shave contribute to them soldiering on and fighting this disease. Then hopefuly, people just like my friend Evan and his mum can get the support they need as they fight on!

 

Sharing Baseball

For those who know me well, you know my hobby is following sports... why that never translated to playing sports is a therapy session for another day. One of my favourite sports is baseball, and while in other parts of the world, baseball fans are all sad that the baseball off-season just began, here in Australia, the ABL (Australian Baseball League for those following at home) season just started.

 

Given I live in Australia, where baseball isn't a big deal, I'm not sure why or how I got into baseball. I do remember my first baseball live game experience was in the OLD ABL days. Some friends took me to see the Sydney Blues play at Parramatta Football Stadium. The stadium was set up in the corner of the football field, with a shallow left field and a very deep right field. Ever since though, there has been a spot in my heart for baseball.

 

And now, with the NEW ABL into it's 3rd year of existence, and playing baseball out of actual baseball fields, not converted football fields, I get to from time to time, share my love of baseball with friends and family.

 

2 weeks ago, I got just such an opportunity. The Sydney Blue Sox played an exhibition game against the New Zealand National Baseball Team (The Diamond Blacks). The game was due to start at 4pm on a Sunday afternoon, and I thought it would be a great opportunity to take my brother in law Phil, and his kids to their first baseball game. Most games here are night games, so the rare 4.30pm start was attractive to us as dads with kids in tow.

The pitching coach is also the Blue Sox starting Pitcher of each series, and he was/is also the favourite player of my friend Jenny Gray and myself. Even though she's back living in the USA, I can still hear her cries of "C'mon Ox!" each time I go to the Ballpark.

 

Joel loved his first taste of Baseball

 

Caitlyn said she "felt honoured" to wear my Blue Sox Member lanyard.

And as for Noah, the heat was a bit much for him, so Ice-Cream on the way home seemed to be his highlight.

 

 

And to top off the day, the mighty Sydney Blue Sox won!!!

 

 

My other photos from the day can be found here if you are interested.

 

Next Saturday night, Perth Heat are in town, and Phil and I will head back to the ballpark (This time sans children, but maybe with my dad in tow) and so the sharing of baseball continues.

 

 



The Life of Ryan: Living With Purpose

Today, as I left work, I received some sad news, that has really put me in a pensive mood. The news was about someone passing away, but it was someone who I didn’t really know, so I was surprised it made me feel the way it did. My friend’s brother-in-law had been battling a cancer in his spine, since May 2011, and today the cancer finally became too much for him and he slipped from this life into the next. I’d only met Ryan, very briefly, once back in 2009. I was visiting friends in Vancouver, Washington and they took us one morning to the farmers market. By chance, we ran into Ryan and his wife while we were there. They had ridden their bicycles with their 2 kids, and I remember thinking, “Wow, these guys must love spending family time together. They could have just jumped in a car and ran their errands quickly, but they took the morning to ride as a family. Cool.” That’s literally the extent of how much I knew Ryan. But seeing his video, reading his blog and just getting a tiny glimpse into the journey he and his young family have been on over the past few months, it really made my heart heavy for their loss. While I believe Ryan has found the comfort he needs, safe at rest with his creator, I grieve for the young family left behind. I take encouragement from the fact that they had time to prepare Ryan’s journey, in a way that would tell his story, and allow his legacy to live on in his community, but ultimately in his children. I take joy from the fact that his story and his demonstration of faith, love and strength will affect many people.

You can read more about Ryan and his family’s journey here:
http://www.grassrootsconspiracy.com/blog/cancer-writings/

Tonight, after hearing of Ryan’s passing, I reflected on many things. The time we have is precious, how much of it do we take for granted? What legacy do we leave behind? I sat and thought, if I were to die today, what would people tell Hayley about me. She would be too young to remember our relationship, so what legacy am I instilling in her? What would Mel tell her about her dad? If she were older, and she had her own memories of me, what would they be? Would she see me as an absent father, always at work? Would she remember the fun times we have together or the books we read together. Would she remember the prayers we say before bed or the games of “Who Loves You?” that we play? Would she remember me as someone that was slow to anger or grumpy all the time? Someone that says he loves her mother, or some that demonstrated that love? Would she remember me as someone that was around and in the moment or someone that was always busy doing something else? All these questions dance around my head tonight, and help me to settle on living a life that I would want her to remember and be proud of.

Tonight, I hugged my wife tighter than normal. Tonight, I took a few minutes more to put Hayley to bed, a few minutes longer to kiss her forehead while she drank her milk and few minutes more to hold her tight and pray over her. Life flies by so quickly, that sometimes we forget, we don’t know how much we have left. Make your time count, don’t get to the end and look back to see all that you’ve missed.

In a way, my friend’s Brother-in-Law Ryan received a gift, because in knowing he didn’t have long for this earth, he was able to adjust his life to live with more purpose. He loved more fervently and cherished the time he had.

Do two things for me tonight:
1. Appreciate your loved ones more, hug them tighter.
2. Ask yourself, “Am I living with purpose or just living?”

“We are not alone
We are more than flesh and bone
What is seen will pass away
What is not is going home”
- Lay Me Down by Andrew Peterson

Sox for Fathers Day

So if you're reading this, and you aren't Australian, you may not know this but today is Fathers Day in Australia. In true Fathers Day fashion, my little Hayley bought me Socks... or more correctly "Blue Sox".

The Sydney Blue Sox ABL team had a Fathers Day promotion, where you could get a Blue Sox Membership, which came with some Blue Sox tickets, some offcial Blue Socks, as worn as part of the Blue Sox uniform, and includes discounts all season, a New Era baseball cap, a coffee mug, baseball bat, and lanyard. So I got "Sox" for Fathers Day.

Hayley also decorated a lovely card for me, which I get to put on my desk at work.

For lunch, we had a picnic with my family in a little park at West Gosford/Point Clare, which is next to a creek. Hayley and I fed the ducks with the cousins, and when the ducks had had their fill, we fed a school of whiting fish. Hayley had some cuddles with Poppy and wished him Happy Poppy's Day, then we took her home for her nap.

I mowed the lawn and Mel made Hayley and I some scones, which were in the shape of the sign language symbol for "I Love You".

And now, as I write this, Hayley is wrestling me.

So that's my father's day. How was yours?

Hayley's Firsts Sporting Events

My general thinking when I became a father was that I wanted to enjoy my time with my daughter, Hayley, sharing with her the things I enjoy, before she grows up and wants to do her own thing. Or maybe, she was just my excuse to go watch sports. Either way, from the moment I thought she was old enough to apprecite it (Okay, so she wasn't old enough to appreciate it, but she was old enough to look at the camera, which is all you really need right?) I started taking her to see some of the sports I love.

There was her first soccer game, where we took her to see the local Central Coast Mariners play in the A-League.

 

There was her first basketball game, when we had near-baseline tickets to see the Australian Boomers beat New Zealand in the Olympic Qualifiers.

 

My personal favourite was her first baseball game, when we took her to see the Sydney Blue Sox take on the Brisbane Bandits in the ABL. This one was very unsettling for her Mama, who had visions of flyballs hitting us, but she was very safe and protected, and I just know she loved every minute!

 

She's yet to see her first live Rugby League, although we do enjoy watching Sunday Afternoon Footy on Channel 9, while we play blocks (okay, so I play blocks, but she has fun knocking down my quickly built creations).

 

 

I do enjoy sharing the view from the cheap seats with my girl. And I do look forward to a day when she will take me to all the things she likes to do. But until that day, I will continue to drag her and her mama along to the baseball, and hope and pray that she grows to appreciate it... what? a guy can dream!