The Life of Ryan: Living With Purpose

Today, as I left work, I received some sad news, that has really put me in a pensive mood. The news was about someone passing away, but it was someone who I didn’t really know, so I was surprised it made me feel the way it did. My friend’s brother-in-law had been battling a cancer in his spine, since May 2011, and today the cancer finally became too much for him and he slipped from this life into the next. I’d only met Ryan, very briefly, once back in 2009. I was visiting friends in Vancouver, Washington and they took us one morning to the farmers market. By chance, we ran into Ryan and his wife while we were there. They had ridden their bicycles with their 2 kids, and I remember thinking, “Wow, these guys must love spending family time together. They could have just jumped in a car and ran their errands quickly, but they took the morning to ride as a family. Cool.” That’s literally the extent of how much I knew Ryan. But seeing his video, reading his blog and just getting a tiny glimpse into the journey he and his young family have been on over the past few months, it really made my heart heavy for their loss. While I believe Ryan has found the comfort he needs, safe at rest with his creator, I grieve for the young family left behind. I take encouragement from the fact that they had time to prepare Ryan’s journey, in a way that would tell his story, and allow his legacy to live on in his community, but ultimately in his children. I take joy from the fact that his story and his demonstration of faith, love and strength will affect many people.

You can read more about Ryan and his family’s journey here:
http://www.grassrootsconspiracy.com/blog/cancer-writings/

Tonight, after hearing of Ryan’s passing, I reflected on many things. The time we have is precious, how much of it do we take for granted? What legacy do we leave behind? I sat and thought, if I were to die today, what would people tell Hayley about me. She would be too young to remember our relationship, so what legacy am I instilling in her? What would Mel tell her about her dad? If she were older, and she had her own memories of me, what would they be? Would she see me as an absent father, always at work? Would she remember the fun times we have together or the books we read together. Would she remember the prayers we say before bed or the games of “Who Loves You?” that we play? Would she remember me as someone that was slow to anger or grumpy all the time? Someone that says he loves her mother, or some that demonstrated that love? Would she remember me as someone that was around and in the moment or someone that was always busy doing something else? All these questions dance around my head tonight, and help me to settle on living a life that I would want her to remember and be proud of.

Tonight, I hugged my wife tighter than normal. Tonight, I took a few minutes more to put Hayley to bed, a few minutes longer to kiss her forehead while she drank her milk and few minutes more to hold her tight and pray over her. Life flies by so quickly, that sometimes we forget, we don’t know how much we have left. Make your time count, don’t get to the end and look back to see all that you’ve missed.

In a way, my friend’s Brother-in-Law Ryan received a gift, because in knowing he didn’t have long for this earth, he was able to adjust his life to live with more purpose. He loved more fervently and cherished the time he had.

Do two things for me tonight:
1. Appreciate your loved ones more, hug them tighter.
2. Ask yourself, “Am I living with purpose or just living?”

“We are not alone
We are more than flesh and bone
What is seen will pass away
What is not is going home”
- Lay Me Down by Andrew Peterson